Well, That Escalated Quickly

I have been praying and soul searching trying to decide if I still want to remain on the leadership committee of this group, or even in the group at all, for over a week now. I wanted and needed a sign whether I should talk to the group leader or find a friend to talk to or just suck it up and use my own judgment.

Our regular bi-monthly group meeting was this morning and no one showed up except members of the leadership team so we decided to have an impromptu meeting.  We discussed a few things, then the social chair started discussing events we could do as a group, many of them requiring a certain number of sign ups which would mean the ENTIRE group (only about 12 women) would need to sign up to get the discount. That is never going to happen.

Someone else suggested piggybacking on a similar event with another group for an existing event, which would be cheaper. Then she mentioned the pre-planned happens on Thursdays.

“Well, I was told that we could ONLY plan events on Tuesdays so I’m trying to plan something for Tuesdays because you all said that Tuesdays were the ONLY days that would work.”

The person who suggested it tried to explain but the social chair kept talking over her, saying “But everyone insisted it had to be TUESDAY!!!!!”

The mentor mom came in and tried explaining that putting together a group event involving a group discount with such a small group wasn’t the best idea and so we should think of something else, but the social chair kept talking over her, as well, being very defensive.

To be honest, no one was attacking her, everyone thinks she is doing a great job, there is just a learning curve with a smaller group. She just refused to listen. So I decided to jump in and say “There is no need to be defensive, no one is attacking you, we’re just discussing” but as soon as the word “defensive” left my mouth she turned on me and snarled that she was NOT being defensive we insisted TUESDAY.

I immediately put my hands up in a posture of surrender and sat back because her response was so out of whack for the situation I was stunned.

The group leader immediately jumped in and said she wanted to table the discussion because it wasn’t going in a positive direction.

Again the social chair turns on me, eyes blazing, still snarling “I am NOT being defensive. You said Tuesday. All of you said it HAD to be Tuesday!” And the group leader jumped in again and told her the discussion was over.

I have always liked the social chair and I don’t know there this came from, though I overhead her telling someone else that she doesn’t appreciate being treated like a child because she is almost 40 years old and she is not a child.

I gritted my teeth and managed to be civil for the rest of the morning. The group leader approached me later and thanked me for backing down during the situation. I told her I’m not sure this is the place for me anymore, so we’re having a play date later this week so we can talk about everything.

Right now all I want to do is cry.


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