Momentary Panic

Renoir maternite

Renoir maternite (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We’re in the middle of a long distance move, so things in our house are rather chaotic. The things that stay as “same” as possible have to do with Miss P’s schedule.

I completely forgot about the time change in all of the madness, so we didn’t get a chance to ease her into it.  She has handled it pretty well.  I haven’t.

This morning we were preparing for the usual library story time (our last one in Louisiana) and I was running a little late.  I went back to my room in my pajamas and came back to the living room carrying the clothing I planned to wear for the day.  This was so I wouldn’t be out of the room for very long.

Miss P oohed and aahed and exclaimed “BEE!” because I wasn’t wearing a top.  I glanced at the clock – there was time for a quick nursing session before we needed to leave.  She eagerly climbed up in my lap on the recliner and I leaned back, and… she took my shirt off the end table and draped it over my chest.

“No?”  I asked.

“No, no,” she intoned.

I lifted the shirt up.  “Boobie?”

She pulled the shirt back down and slid off my lap.

I felt a lump of fear in my throat.  Are we done?  Just like that?  The unremarkable morning nursing session where I wasn’t really paying attention was going to be the last nursing session?  Really?

I got dressed, trying not to think about it.  I fought back tears all morning.

When we got home from library and errands Miss P matter-of-factly went to the door of the spare bedroom and pounded on it.  This is where we go for naptime.  I put her up on the bed and pulled up my shirt and she nursed to sleep.

I guess we’re not quite done yet.

Thank God.

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